There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
