ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
