Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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