Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i out mim tonsoeep
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