ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
