That's intense
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
