Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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