i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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