I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
