girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
