Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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