Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
