glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He better not be in your backpack
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
