its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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