Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize