So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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