Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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