why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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