official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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