What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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