Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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