My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
