Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
