Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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