someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
