Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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