you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
