I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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