They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
