Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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