i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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