Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
