I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
