the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
