Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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