doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
