YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
