She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I want her autograph on my taint
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
