The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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