I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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