Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
