Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
