And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
