We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
