Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
