I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
