There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think people are normalizing furries
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
