I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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