The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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