I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
