why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
