no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
