I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
