I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
PANTIES FOUND
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