nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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