Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
