Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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