So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The struggles of a small town man whore
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
