my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
