D3 body, D1 cock
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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