I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
