Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
