Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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