bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
