your thong is hanging out like whoa
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
