Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
