Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
