HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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