yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
