we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize