I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
