the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
