I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
