I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Be still, my beating vagina.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
