BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
