you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
