GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
