so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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