my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
